Hard Things

We know that all things work together for good

for those who love God,

who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Dear Friends,

Bad things happen.

Tragedies occur.

People get hurt.

Injustices happen.

People die.

When people are in the impact of some kind of loss, it is hard. Especially around the loss of loved ones, the experience of grief can be overwhelming. Often, the grieving takes the form of a Why question: Why did this happen?

For those of us on the “outside” of someone else’s grief, the temptation is to try to say something that will alleviate their suffering or make them feel better in the midst of their loss… and to even try to answer the Why? One of the things that I’ve heard people tell others is, Everything happens for a reason or God is in control. I know that this is offered to try to give people an assurance that God is with them and to have them trust in God but…

On Sunday, I told the story of Joseph (a very abridged version!) and finished with his words to his brothers,

“And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves

because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.” [Genesis 45:5]

It is very easy to hear this as, “God caused me [Joseph] to be sold into slavery and imprisoned for attempted rape so that I could reach this position of power and provide for my family.”

As a pastor, I find this particular view problematic especially if we apply it to all the tragedies and injustices in our lives and the world. Why? Because it means that God has done or does harmful things to people. That is not the God I know that is revealed in Jesus. I believe that tragedies and injustices occur and quite often it is the result of human sinfulness. AND I believe that God can use anything for good for those who trust God and are open to allowing goodness to come forth.

I share this perspective with you to equip you for future conversations with people who are grieving. Unfortunately, there is no short cut to get through the grieving process. When people are in the midst of their grief, they are in the midst of their grief. Showing up, being present, and providing a caring, listening ear is often the best answer to Why? and your presence is tangible evidence is that God is there also.

Peace,

Pastor Phil